A Note to The Security Guard Who Gave a Peace Sign to The Woman Lacing Up Her Roller Skates

A note to the security guard who gave a peace sign to the woman lacing up her pink roller skates on the fourth level of the medical “EMPLOYEES ONLY” parking garage:

First of all, thank you.

When I saw you approaching in your security cart as I was lacing up my pink roller skates that day in the parking garage, I thought you were going to slow to a roll and probably, certainly, eventually, ask me to leave. Because, I’m not a medical employee. Technically, I’m unemployed. My main role the last five years has been to take care of my five-year-old daughter with medical complexities (and my two- year- old son). But on that day, my daughter was very sick in a hospital bed – just one building over at Children’s Hospital ­­– watching Little Mermaid with her Nanna – so I could “get some air.”

When I saw you coming around the corner, I tried to play it cool and confident by casually continuing to lace up my skates like I owned the place. But the truth is, I was actually feeling quite small in that moment.

You see sometimes, I can’t help but feel like God and the universe are against me, or worse, have completely forgotten about me. And on that day, in that moment, I was feeling quite forgotten. Because, 1) My daughter was sick in the hospital – her fifth hospital admission within six months 2) My husband was also very sick at home 3) I hadn’t seen my 2- year- old son in two days and I was missing him like crazy 4) We had to cancel our family vacation, one we had been looking forward to for months 5) I was tired of praying, hoping and wishing that things could be different for our family – for my daughter Nora.

You should know, had you asked me to leave, I would have apologized and promptly left. Also, I probably would have thrown myself an internal pity party and ruminated into the evening about how I couldn’t even find a decent place to skate.

But, you didn’t ask me to leave. Not on that day, or any of the following days I returned to skate during my daughter’s week long hospital admission. Even when the parking lot filled up with cars and I wore my roller skates in the elevator.

Instead of asking me to leave, you took your left hand off the steering wheel of your security cart and gave me one of the most beautiful, outward facing, peace signs I’ve ever seen. I played it cool by passing you a casual nod (again, like I owned the place), but when I looked down to continue lacing up my skates, I couldn’t stop smiling. It felt like someone handed me a win, a “you- do-you” pass, one I desperately needed. And, perhaps most importantly, it felt like God and the universe had something important to say, something that sounded a lot like, “I know you Jesse Van Leeuwen. Now skate it out.”

That particular day of rooftop skating stands out as one of my most freeing, fun and life-giving adventures on roller skates. And for some reason, I feel like you’re the guy to thank. I hope you continue to throw those peace signs around like confetti, because Lord knows, the world needs it.

With Gratitude, Grace and Peace,

Jesse Van Leeuwen