Family Medical Motherhood

The Guy with a Tie

August 21, 2014

It was Friday and Tyler was sad. You have to know him well to see the sad. He doesn’t speak it  (unless you pry of course). He wears it. Usually on his shoulders and heavy on his arms.

I watched him fold his laundry, he moved slowly — taking deep breaths.

We were in the living room, waiting for the intake worker from regional center to arrive at the house.

He was running late.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

He paused, “I’m just sad.”

I sat up. Tyler is so internally driven that it can take a conversational wrestling match to arrive at underlying emotions.

But there it was, in the open air. He was sad.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” he replied.

I slouched back into the couch. “I had a sad day yesterday — I’m sorry you feel sad.”

He continued to fold his laundry. I wished I could lighten his load.

The doorbell rang.

I got up, “do you want to get the door and I’ll settle the baby?”


I heard Tyler welcome our guest, I heard the intake worker’s booming voice as he made his way through the entryway.

He was wearing a tie and smiling.

As he sat with us, he explained his role with regional center, how they serve the community and the opportunities available to Nora. He answered our questions, cooed with Nora, laughed with Tyler and teased me about the leftover craft glitter clinging to our dining room table.

He talked about the brain and about babies like Nora.

“We see a lot of kids with brain abnormalities. Think of it like MapQuest, you type in an address and there are a few different routes to take, some might take longer than others, but they all get to the same place, her brain is still developing, it can find another route.”

He didn’t know it, but he was feeding our souls, serving us hearty portions of hope served with a side of perspective.

“Don’t you let anyone tell you what her future is going to be like, because they don’t know. Unless they can predict the future, but they can’t. Nobody can. If somebody does tell you, you find a new somebody.”

His words were reminiscent of Monty’s words in the Pediatric ICU waiting room.  Let me take you back there for just a moment:

Tyler and I walked into the PICU waiting room where our families were waiting. We had just finished talking to our neurologist about Nora’s MRI. We had been crushed with information. We were openly weeping, our families held us. Their hands tightly wrapped themselves around our shoulders and heads. We clung to them as we crumbled.

I don’t know how long we sat, intertwined with our families, but eventually my body filled with breath and my swollen eyes opened. I stared at the speckled white hospital floor. As the dust settled, I heard Monty’s voice- it was strong, clear and at the most precise and perfect decibel.

“Jesse, doctors know things. But God knows all things.”

Oh how comforting his words were, and are. How they remind me of how limited humans are in our ability to know, to predict, to see the future.

Monty knew it, the guy with the tie knew it, and I was just beginning to see it.

The guy with a tie got up to leave, we shook hands and he cooed at Nora.

She smiled through her pacifier.

We saw him to the door and wished him well.

Tyler closed the door and looked at me, eyes twinkling.

“I really needed that.”

“Me too.” I said.

I watched Tyler float down the hallway…

Oh Lord, I prayed, thank you for lightening his load. Thank you for the guy with the tie. Thank you for Monty. Thank you for the great unknown.


Photo credit (top): Jessica Rice Photography

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  • Reply Joanie Brandt August 21, 2014 at 11:15 am

    Beautifully written and such a lesson for us all to know……trust in the Lord. He is in control and only He knows the plan He has for each of us. No human can predict the outcome of anything. God is good and will provide us with whatever we need, when we need them. God bless the three of you. Love and many hugs. Thank you God, for the guy with the Tie.

  • Reply Keith England August 21, 2014 at 11:32 am

    Another beautiful update. Cindy and I pray for your sweet daughter regularly.

  • Reply Eva August 21, 2014 at 11:46 am

    That is such a blessing to hear. I’m so glad that someone who has seen it all knew exactly what to say to encourage you. These pictures of Nora are amazing!!!

  • Reply Neil Kramer August 21, 2014 at 11:52 am

    Great news! Be assured you’re all in my prayers.

  • Reply kellyabfallbrook August 21, 2014 at 12:29 pm

    You have dear, compassionate and smart friends. So happy you can listen to them and feel the support. Keeping your family in prayers. HUGS! Kelly AB (friend of Eva and Greg)

  • Reply kellyabfallbrook August 21, 2014 at 12:33 pm

    You have dear, compassionate and smart friends. So happy that you listen to them and feel the Love. Keeping your family in prayers. Cute little elf pictures! HUGS. Kelly AB (friend of Eva and Greg)

  • Reply Julie Pusztai August 21, 2014 at 12:48 pm

    These two men seem like God-given angels in your lives. It reminds me of how we need to be that voice of wisdom & encouragement when called on. Tyler & Jesse, God sees and provides. You all are in our prayers at least daily. AND she is the most beautiful little girl! Adorable clothes and photos! Hugs and love to you all.

  • Reply Lisa August 21, 2014 at 1:33 pm

    You cast a far wide and deep net of contagious joy when you share the inner workings of your spirit Jesse. What a miracle of mercy I read through every letter on the page – and you share that with us! Who are we to be given such a tender gift? This is love! How does one put in words the miracle of His love for you, and us, which we unbelievably are privileged to witness through your precious family? Your walk is affecting ALL who see it…Christ’s love is in each breath of your sharing; you bring His Love alive. So much gratitude for your faithful, grateful, loving hearts.

  • Reply Donna Beckman August 21, 2014 at 5:30 pm

    I love the guy with the tie! He is absolutely right that there are so many possibilities for outcomes for Nora! And as a special Ed school nurse, I have been praying that the right people come into your life to build you up, and tell you about all the services Nora has available to help her –and to you too! What a blessing–and how wonderful that you get what you need when it is just the right time for you to hear it. Blessings–Donna and Kyle

  • Reply sbp August 22, 2014 at 11:55 am

    God sends angels when we least expect it. Your guy with a tie was one of them. So grateful for the hope he shared. Thinking and praying for you all.

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